MY DEATH WISHES
I first wrote some of this in 1990 while fighting for my life and then re-wrote it in 1995 when I more clearly understood the circumstances of my birth and early childhood. I did an UPDATE in DEC 2008 and now feel the need to update it again in AUG 2009. Very little has changed. I still believe each person should have the right to determine for themselves when their life is complete and what should happen to their remains in the physical world. The personal and religious beliefs of others are irrelevant. I also know that when I am dead I will have no control over what happens but somehow it is comforting to be able to make the requests and hope they will be honored even as I doubt more than ever now that they will be.Davi++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++Hi, That I feel the need to write and publicly post this is a testament to my fear about the direction my country (and some in my family) is heading. This will be a discussion with myself about when and why I would want my life to end. Some of it will likely seem contradictory but I hope it will provide more than enough information for my family, my friends, and if needed, the courts to determine when and why to let me take my final breath and how to dispose of my physical remains. Some background is in order so that my rational thinking and Spiritual understanding can become part of your understanding about what I believe constitutes HUMAN LIFE.In 1990 I was diagnosed with mycobacterium avium complex. This is a very invasive lung disease that is one of the marker diseases for full blown active AIDS. I did not and do not (at least at the time of this writing) have AIDS but I did have a very severely depressed immune system and was in therapy for PTSD and DID resulting from sever childhood trauma. I was told that I should put my affairs in order because the doctors had never seen anyone recover from the place I was in.
One of my overly religious family members found out what I had, jumped to some erroneous conclusions and called me to tell me to:"Stay in Texas and die quietly so not to embarrass the family".My reply was:"You will have to break all the bones in both my armsand both my legs before you will nail my coffin shut."
That I am writing this today (27 Mar 2005 and now 22 Dec 2008 and again 22 AUG 2009) means that I survived my close encounter with death. I did it by enrolling in an experimental treatment program that had side effects almost as bad as the disease I was trying to overcome. My eyes turned orange and my skin yellow. All my body fluids turned orange and would stain cloth. I developed horrible body odor and some days it was all I could do to get out of bed while on other days I so much energy I couldn't find enough to do to wear me out so I could sleep. Diarrhea some days and impacted bowels the next. Nausea, disorientation and loss of balance. Overnight I found I needed glasses.
This lasted 22 months. BUT... Because I still had the ability to communicate and interact with the world and learn new information and teach others,, I WANTED TO LIVE!!!!
My Spirituality demands that as a human, I must continue to learn and teach and it is my Spiritual belief that lets me know that part of being human is the ability to decide when to die. No other species (with the possible exception of elephants, whales and dolphins) clearly has this ability.
Right now the overly religious are willing to try to force someone to live against their will even as they are willing to try to force women to die of pregnancy,, even when the pregnancy will kill the women before the fetus can survive. The overly religious will usually claim that their "GOD" gave "MAN" the power of free will and denied it to all the "lower" species and that because they have the only "TRUTH", they have the "RIGHT" to take free will from the "NON-BELIEVERS" in order to save their "IMMORTAL SOULS".
My Spirituality says the minute anyone loses the ability to decide if they will live or die,, either because they are forced to live against their will or have been condemned to death by secular society (usually for crimes so inhumane that they have been judged to be un-human) or religious society (because you are a woman and you have been impregnated) then you are no longer truly human.
From the last few paragraphs we can find how strong my will to survive is and when I deem it necessary to do what ever is needed to stay alive and the current limits of my endurance. I believe I can endure more than I have. As long as I still have the ability to communicate and interact with the world and learn new information and teach others,, I will want to live because I will still be a human being with a meaningful life.
The events surrounding Terri Schiavo have made it clear that there is a growing number of overly religious people that have a different definition of meaningful life. For them any life,, except that of a woman that has been impregnated, even against her will,, even the life of someone that commits inhumane acts,, is so important that even if a person has expressed a desire not to live under what they have determined to be "meaningless circumstances" ,, that persons wishes should be ignored and they should be forced to live against their will.
These are not rational beliefs and violate all my understanding of Spirituality.
I AM HUMAN!! I CAN DECIDE WHY I WILL LIVE AND WHEN I WILL DIE!!.
Two years of inability to learn and teach should be long enough. I charge you, the reader, to use this information to decide when and if I need help to die because I have become less than human.Davi Wayne-Disney
UPDATE DEC 22 2008The events surrounding some family deaths in the last 13 years have prompted me to revisit this missive. Uncle Harrison wanted to be cremated but Aunt Bunny believed that would send him to hell so she ignored his wishes and had a standard funeral complete with coffin photos and all the trappings of religion.
My mother requested no viewings, photos or religious ceremonies and her children and step children honored her wishes in spite of the objections of the overly religious inside and outside the family.
Aunt Bunny evidently clearly wanted a religious ceremony and had even picked a specific casket for her burial but had asked that there be no coffin photos but her wishes regarding the photos were ignored.
My after death wishes are that, if possible, my body should be donated to science in the hope that it could be used to determine what caused(s) children to be born with genital abnormalities so that possible early diagnosis and treatment techniques and education can be developed that might save some future child from the religious and social torture I endured in spite of still being a human being. Failing that I want to be cremated and if my little patch of paradise here in Texas is still in the family I want to be scattered on the pipeline right of way. Otherwise any large body of salt water will do just fine. The U.S. Navy should be willing to do it for free but would have to be specifically told there should be no prayers or religious trapping. Simply pipe me over the side and play Anchors Away.
NO RELIGIOUS CEREMONIES!!
Now the question is, how do I word the curse that is to befall those that ignore my after death requests?? Hmnnnn. Could the photos of Aunt Bunny be the cosmic payback for her ignoring Uncle Harrison's after death wishes?
OK. I hereby decree that if my after death wishes are ignored that your after death wishes will be ignored so you can find out how it feels to be dead and ignored.Davi Wayne-Disney
UPDATE August 22 2009Again I find that I must add more protections to try and make sure that my central wish for NO RELIGIOUS CEREMONIES will be honored. I found it necessary today to remove myself from the final memorial to my mother because the overly religious in my immediate family insisted upon dishonoring her last wishes. Some of them are attempting to claim that Chas changed this but I find that hard to believe. I have no doubt that as soon as he was completely debilitated, , those who believe in death bed and after death conversion were hard at work pressuring him to change his mind. I also know that Chas was notoriously non-confrontational about his beliefs so it would have been easy for those pressuring him to change his mind to confuse his lack of overt rejection as consent to violate my mothers last wishes.
In an attempt to prevent this from happening to me I do hereby ban from my death bed all proselytization and authorize and empower secular authorities to enforce this request.
I further request that any medical personnel attending me during my last days monitor the activities of those who visit my death bed and report violations of my wishes to the proper authorities that my final days will be free of pressure to convert to any religion but especially some form of "christianity" . This will free me to die with dignity instead of having to fight to my last breath to reject the religion that rejected me at birth because I was conceived out of wedlock and born with malformed sex organs.
Deuteronomy 231. He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.2. A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord.
NO.. Jesus did NOT "change the Law!
Matthew 5:17-18 King James Version (KJV)17. Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill.18. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.Davi Wayne-Disney
One of my overly religious family members found out what I had, jumped to some erroneous conclusions and called me to tell me to:"Stay in Texas and die quietly so not to embarrass the family".My reply was:"You will have to break all the bones in both my armsand both my legs before you will nail my coffin shut."
That I am writing this today (27 Mar 2005 and now 22 Dec 2008 and again 22 AUG 2009) means that I survived my close encounter with death. I did it by enrolling in an experimental treatment program that had side effects almost as bad as the disease I was trying to overcome. My eyes turned orange and my skin yellow. All my body fluids turned orange and would stain cloth. I developed horrible body odor and some days it was all I could do to get out of bed while on other days I so much energy I couldn't find enough to do to wear me out so I could sleep. Diarrhea some days and impacted bowels the next. Nausea, disorientation and loss of balance. Overnight I found I needed glasses.
This lasted 22 months. BUT... Because I still had the ability to communicate and interact with the world and learn new information and teach others,, I WANTED TO LIVE!!!!
My Spirituality demands that as a human, I must continue to learn and teach and it is my Spiritual belief that lets me know that part of being human is the ability to decide when to die. No other species (with the possible exception of elephants, whales and dolphins) clearly has this ability.
Right now the overly religious are willing to try to force someone to live against their will even as they are willing to try to force women to die of pregnancy,, even when the pregnancy will kill the women before the fetus can survive. The overly religious will usually claim that their "GOD" gave "MAN" the power of free will and denied it to all the "lower" species and that because they have the only "TRUTH", they have the "RIGHT" to take free will from the "NON-BELIEVERS" in order to save their "IMMORTAL SOULS".
My Spirituality says the minute anyone loses the ability to decide if they will live or die,, either because they are forced to live against their will or have been condemned to death by secular society (usually for crimes so inhumane that they have been judged to be un-human) or religious society (because you are a woman and you have been impregnated) then you are no longer truly human.
From the last few paragraphs we can find how strong my will to survive is and when I deem it necessary to do what ever is needed to stay alive and the current limits of my endurance. I believe I can endure more than I have. As long as I still have the ability to communicate and interact with the world and learn new information and teach others,, I will want to live because I will still be a human being with a meaningful life.
The events surrounding Terri Schiavo have made it clear that there is a growing number of overly religious people that have a different definition of meaningful life. For them any life,, except that of a woman that has been impregnated, even against her will,, even the life of someone that commits inhumane acts,, is so important that even if a person has expressed a desire not to live under what they have determined to be "meaningless circumstances" ,, that persons wishes should be ignored and they should be forced to live against their will.
These are not rational beliefs and violate all my understanding of Spirituality.
I AM HUMAN!! I CAN DECIDE WHY I WILL LIVE AND WHEN I WILL DIE!!.
Two years of inability to learn and teach should be long enough. I charge you, the reader, to use this information to decide when and if I need help to die because I have become less than human.Davi Wayne-Disney
UPDATE DEC 22 2008The events surrounding some family deaths in the last 13 years have prompted me to revisit this missive. Uncle Harrison wanted to be cremated but Aunt Bunny believed that would send him to hell so she ignored his wishes and had a standard funeral complete with coffin photos and all the trappings of religion.
My mother requested no viewings, photos or religious ceremonies and her children and step children honored her wishes in spite of the objections of the overly religious inside and outside the family.
Aunt Bunny evidently clearly wanted a religious ceremony and had even picked a specific casket for her burial but had asked that there be no coffin photos but her wishes regarding the photos were ignored.
My after death wishes are that, if possible, my body should be donated to science in the hope that it could be used to determine what caused(s) children to be born with genital abnormalities so that possible early diagnosis and treatment techniques and education can be developed that might save some future child from the religious and social torture I endured in spite of still being a human being. Failing that I want to be cremated and if my little patch of paradise here in Texas is still in the family I want to be scattered on the pipeline right of way. Otherwise any large body of salt water will do just fine. The U.S. Navy should be willing to do it for free but would have to be specifically told there should be no prayers or religious trapping. Simply pipe me over the side and play Anchors Away.
NO RELIGIOUS CEREMONIES!!
Now the question is, how do I word the curse that is to befall those that ignore my after death requests?? Hmnnnn. Could the photos of Aunt Bunny be the cosmic payback for her ignoring Uncle Harrison's after death wishes?
OK. I hereby decree that if my after death wishes are ignored that your after death wishes will be ignored so you can find out how it feels to be dead and ignored.Davi Wayne-Disney
UPDATE August 22 2009Again I find that I must add more protections to try and make sure that my central wish for NO RELIGIOUS CEREMONIES will be honored. I found it necessary today to remove myself from the final memorial to my mother because the overly religious in my immediate family insisted upon dishonoring her last wishes. Some of them are attempting to claim that Chas changed this but I find that hard to believe. I have no doubt that as soon as he was completely debilitated, , those who believe in death bed and after death conversion were hard at work pressuring him to change his mind. I also know that Chas was notoriously non-confrontational about his beliefs so it would have been easy for those pressuring him to change his mind to confuse his lack of overt rejection as consent to violate my mothers last wishes.
In an attempt to prevent this from happening to me I do hereby ban from my death bed all proselytization and authorize and empower secular authorities to enforce this request.
I further request that any medical personnel attending me during my last days monitor the activities of those who visit my death bed and report violations of my wishes to the proper authorities that my final days will be free of pressure to convert to any religion but especially some form of "christianity" . This will free me to die with dignity instead of having to fight to my last breath to reject the religion that rejected me at birth because I was conceived out of wedlock and born with malformed sex organs.
Deuteronomy 231. He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.2. A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord.
NO.. Jesus did NOT "change the Law!
Matthew 5:17-18 King James Version (KJV)17. Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill.18. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.Davi Wayne-Disney
